Wed, Jan. 31st, 2007, 12:46 am
everythings fine. no worries. i was pretty excited and looked forward to digital media tonight, because no one wants a night class but i decided i would just this once and be happy about it. i learned things. i never knew how to use the patch tool or the healing brush. theyre pretty and work like magic and i like them. i then furthered knowledge at the library. there's a new art exhibit that will hopefully open soon, sarah and i saw it and went straight back there (the art gallery's in the library) and had a look. they haven't made the artist's name magically be painted on the wall yet, it's a piece of paper, so it's not ready to open. the color is very adventurous, i cant wait.
im dumb. going now.
Wed, Jan. 10th, 2007, 04:53 pm
why is it so trivial? i must drive my point home but i cant right now because it would take like a day at least, maybe two. why cant people just understand that art shapes their lives, is everywhere, is important, (but at the same time you don't have to like it?)
isn't it strange that when we're telling people "just leave me alone, all i need is to be alone" you REALLY DO want someone there?
i'm thinking about things WAY too much because i'm in communication, philosophy and theology classes all at the same time, i'm in a new place, angered by things like stupid fake blonde girls and disorganized. but what i really don't like is that all of these things make it almost impossible to involve myself in everything that looks good on a resume. what i also don't like about it is that i want to NOT think about myself.
i leave for palos heights in a week and a day. i am very excited.
brit, cat and i hung out last night. we sat around and talked and watched a movie. there were two dogs present.
my birthday was sunday, and of course my friends had to have dinner with me. they bought me dinner and drinks. it was. . . interesting. really fun.
today is the last day of work before school. needless to say, a good thing here.
well, the good news is my family is almost all here.
the bad news is i get needy for friends after i spend three hours with them. crazy.
today i went to a funeral. it was for my uncle, i suppose you would say, i always called him that. he was my aunt marcia's second husband, but the only person i ever remembered her being married to as they had been married since i was three. he was pretty cool, i recall he was always full of spunk and on his game in his healthy years. it's weird because my aunt, who is my dad's sister (and my favorite aunt) is 59 and uncle bob was 79. so there was an age difference. he got Parkinson's disease and had dementia and was in a nursing home and failed really quickly. my aunt was there every day of those 5 or 6 years in the home, spending time with him whether he knew who she was or not.
i couldn't say enough about my aunt, she is amazing. she's a gardener, and lives in a beautiful house near oregon, il. with all her gardens. she's the greatest cook i've ever met, and a has a great personality. the funeral was sad just because she was (obviously) very sad. my uncle was a pilot for american airlines for 35 years, which is pretty cool.
i got the chance to hang out with my cousins, though, something that's always pretty fun. i only have one aunt and two cousins on the rosene side, and both my cousins had their wives and families there. we're all planning on a fun weekend around the first of july because my sister, mark and the baby, plus my BROTHER and his girlfriend will be here. we were discussing if we were going to get the boat out or not, which may not happen. kyle and seth live near the dock we always go to in hennepin, so i always wished i could just take the boat out and have the group for the afternoon. it's always a lot of fun, if one knows how to unload and reload the boat 'n' such.
yesterday i did nothing but sit on my bed and watch gilmore girls dvd's. sometimes i think i have no life, and then i'm proven wrong, but i usually just go back to the whole "i'm lame" theory in the end.
well, i am retarded. i was just reading my past journals and thinking, by then i could've decided on a school to go to, but no, i haven't, and i don't want it to happen. i don't care. i really don't. i HATE my apathetic quality.
more drama in these past few months than i should have allowed. . .well, there was no stopping it. i'm very much over derek, and i shouldn't have ever been drawn in in the first place. but the thing is, so many people are. melissa was all mesmerized by his looks and apparent charm. but i feel nothing toward him now, because he wasn't very nice. that's the truth. i guess he's kyle's best friend so i'll have to deal with that. wow. strange.
friends are still there. . .and supportive. . .and hilarious. thats better than ever. i am very happy overall right now. it's warm . .like 80, today, and it puts me on this whole different level. everything seemed okay when i was in ottawa last saturday. i knew things were possibly a little off, but that was in my head. my close friends relationships to me havent changed, so what was i so worried about? i was listening to taxflo play and was very calmed, but suddenly i just knew it was better.
Sat, Apr. 29th, 2006, 11:26 pm
I HATE YOU WITH EVERYTHING.
you get excuses to feel certain ways.
if somebody pisses in your soup, you can in turn be pissed. it's allowed.
but what do you when YOU ARE BEING DANGLED BY A STRING? and you dont KNOW quite how to feel? it's the worst then.
i have a knot in my neck. its bad.
Sat, Apr. 1st, 2006, 07:21 pm
what the crap is going on
it's effin april
that's about it for now